Slurpee day

What is slurpee day, you ask? It is as cool as Chuck Norris' beard, as cool as the Joker as played by Heath Ledger, and sugary as Buddy the Elf's typical breakfast. There's so much to discuss, so little attention span to spend on it. Let's start with first explaining, what is slurpee day?

Slurpee day is when a group of individuals come together at a specific time (say, 3:30) and traverse together to the nearest 7-eleven, and preferably you will walk but if there's not enough time or if the road is long and winding (Beatles reference) you can, of course, take a vehicular mode of transportation.

The most important part of the whole thing is the purchase and consumption of a slurpee drink, but then you can totally get snackage, or snackems, as they say in the part of the south where it's socially acceptable to drop your kid on his/her head. So what's next?

You come back to your home base (church, library, brothel, home, apartment, sketch back ally, or military barracks, etc.), and you chill and eat up. Music is typically a part of the mix as well.

Rules:

#1 First rule of slurpee day, don't talk about slurpee day.

#2 Muffin tops take the cake

#3 Slurpee day waits for no man...or squirrel...except it's founders.

#4 Don't wear a ski mask into the 7-eleven. This is more like legal advice then anything else.

#5 bobcat is king.

#6 Every pyro for himself.

#7 Good life by OneRepublic (Album: Waking Up) is our theme song.

#8 You must work up to the big slurpee.

#9 Slurpee day is run on a hierarchical system. Deal with it.

#10 The Banana Slurpee does not taste like banana...

Bittersweet

Heard a friend discuss this the other day and it cracked me up, so now I'm reposting. It's a discussion about what constitutes being bittersweet.

"You know what I think bittersweet is? Going to the bathroom in the middle of the winter. Because think about it! It's really cold and you sit on the toilet expecting the seat to be freezing. But then, as you sit you realize...WARMTH!!! Yes! Wait a second...I'm benefiting from somebody's rear-end warmth. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

That's really all there is to it. I don't know if it's actually that funny, but I thought it was a unique definition. Definitely internet worthy, but that's not worth much, is it?