Slurpee day

What is slurpee day, you ask? It is as cool as Chuck Norris' beard, as cool as the Joker as played by Heath Ledger, and sugary as Buddy the Elf's typical breakfast. There's so much to discuss, so little attention span to spend on it. Let's start with first explaining, what is slurpee day?

Slurpee day is when a group of individuals come together at a specific time (say, 3:30) and traverse together to the nearest 7-eleven, and preferably you will walk but if there's not enough time or if the road is long and winding (Beatles reference) you can, of course, take a vehicular mode of transportation.

The most important part of the whole thing is the purchase and consumption of a slurpee drink, but then you can totally get snackage, or snackems, as they say in the part of the south where it's socially acceptable to drop your kid on his/her head. So what's next?

You come back to your home base (church, library, brothel, home, apartment, sketch back ally, or military barracks, etc.), and you chill and eat up. Music is typically a part of the mix as well.

Rules:

#1 First rule of slurpee day, don't talk about slurpee day.

#2 Muffin tops take the cake

#3 Slurpee day waits for no man...or squirrel...except it's founders.

#4 Don't wear a ski mask into the 7-eleven. This is more like legal advice then anything else.

#5 bobcat is king.

#6 Every pyro for himself.

#7 Good life by OneRepublic (Album: Waking Up) is our theme song.

#8 You must work up to the big slurpee.

#9 Slurpee day is run on a hierarchical system. Deal with it.

#10 The Banana Slurpee does not taste like banana...

Bittersweet

Heard a friend discuss this the other day and it cracked me up, so now I'm reposting. It's a discussion about what constitutes being bittersweet.

"You know what I think bittersweet is? Going to the bathroom in the middle of the winter. Because think about it! It's really cold and you sit on the toilet expecting the seat to be freezing. But then, as you sit you realize...WARMTH!!! Yes! Wait a second...I'm benefiting from somebody's rear-end warmth. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

That's really all there is to it. I don't know if it's actually that funny, but I thought it was a unique definition. Definitely internet worthy, but that's not worth much, is it?

Security

We had a "fire drill" today. Actually, more like an alarm malfunction. Anyways, we all waited inside while security checked out the building and it took forever. Do you know why? Because the four police officers that were in the building decided to walk around the dorm together. "Hey, we have a lot of ground to cover so let's walk around together so we have company." Seriously? Day time campus police officers are hardly worth their share of my tuition fee, and the night time officers are really just there to let you know that there's somebody to watch the security camera feed of you getting robbed, were that to happen. Not that they'd do anything about it because it's beyond their juristiction, but at least you know that your last seconds of life were observed by men and women that enjoy each other's company.

No food after six o'clock...

I keep eating food after six and I keep having strange dreams. The other night I had a dream that two men in Victorian style dresses were beating each other up with umbrellas. After tracing the roots of this dream back to the Pirates of the Caribean (which I haven't seen in a long time), I've decided to commit to my decision to not eat after six. Who knows what other dreams I may have...

I had a thought today...

I was in class the other day, and I was kind of drifting off and thinking about random stuff, when it occurred to me, wouldn't it look ridiculous if girls wore pony tails on top of their heads in stead of the back? I mean, I remember the old fads where girls wore them to the side, but I'm talking about hairspraying that pony tail to stick straight up in the air. It would look like the girl is a shark with that "fin" floating above the tops of everyone's heads. I'm just saying, that would be awesome. I'd date her (not). And that's my random thought for today. Thank you. Good bye.