Why do I waste so much time? I have so many things I know I need to do, but it's just really hard to get there. I feel great having lost this weight that I may have gained back some because of the 4th, but there still so much I should be doing that's just not happening.
I sit around all day and I don't take care of business, even though my more productive days are better. If I wake up early and work I usually feel really good about my day, but still I just sleep in and then when I wake up I don't get anything done! I just sit on youtube and facebook or at my Wii and throw the day away, but I know there's a bunch more stuff I'd like to do. I'm not spending any time with friends, so I can't blame my social life for procrastination. I feel like I know the missing puzzle piece here, but it's a hard step to take.
It's prayer. I used to pray every day when I got up and went to bed. Then things kinda didn't go so well. Two semesters ago I gave a talk on prayer, yet right now I can honestly say that I haven't really prayed in 8 months...that's bad.
A man can find strength in many things, and at one time I had myself rooted in my music and in God. But I feel less connected to music then I ever have, and my prayer life is a distant memory for me. A detox of sorts from these were necessary for last year, and now it's time to come back.
At one time I prayed constantly that I lose my dependence on friends, family, and anything that wasn't me or God. My prayer was answered, but when it was time to turn to God I relied on myself, which is insanity. I don't feel close to anyone right now because I've been doing everything by myself for so long, but I need God. I always have. To those people who say they don't need God or who don't believe in Him, I have to honestly admit that I don't have enough faith to be an athiest or to believe only in myself.
My limited faith will answer another prayer though, I just have to believe. Being an 'A' student, losing the rest of this weight, and coming back to God are all possible and very much within my reach. I'm coming home.
I don't know if what you call prayer is what I call prayer. I just know this. Prayer isn't a take situation one uses like a wishing well. Prayer is a thanks to God for the blessings he gives you and a prayer among others. I do not go to church, but when I pray, it's a passion of tears.
ReplyDeleteYou seem very confused, you want a productive day, but you spend time playing games or on the internet. I am in the same situation. Well, actually I am in summer school. I have been in school since I started. It's hard for me because I do get burned out. So, sometimes taking it easy isn't that bad. It's summer and you should just enjoy it while you still can. Not like me.