NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!!

Random fact of the year: Men can lactate. There was a video of it on Tosh.0 and I'm scarred for life. Thanks to man lactation (Mantation), I'm going to have to answer the age old question with an astounding; "YES. Apprently, we do got milk." Who'd a thought?

Weight loss: I lost another two pounds this week and I'm happy. I did it mostly with dieting because I've been too lazy to go running. It's nice to know, though, that running it totally an option for me and taking a break hasn't affected my weightloss one bit. It's actually kind of weird.

The confusion: My priest said to me the other day, and quite randomly so, that I should consider what it is that God is asking me to do with my life. People live there whole lives trying to figure out their purpose and my priest says to me, "I think it's time you looked into that more. He might be calling you to something."

First of all, I'm now confused as to what my priest knows that God hasn't told me. Second, it's really weird that he should have asked me this question when a few days before I find myself considering the same question. Twilight zone? It just may be.

Am I the only guy to have a thing for his dental hygienist?

My day: I went to the dentists office today and got the young, attractive dental hygienist again. I don't know how I always end up with the young ones when half the time the place is run by old ladies. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. Unfortunately she was also a little forceful, being very proactive in making me uncomfortable and bleed. "Oops, did I get you?" was a common phrase uttered in my 45 minute visit there. I didn't respond but I wanted to say, "No, I always bleed randomly from my gums like that. You don't think that's a problem, do you?"

I also was planning on going to San Marcos today because I thought some friends of mine were going to watch Harry Potter in preperation for the final movie coming out. Turns out they decided to watch it a few days ago and forgot to mention it to me. Funny how that happens.

Weight Loss: I weighed in a day early because I thought I'd be in Collegeville tomorrow, and it turns out that I have lost two more pounds! That brings my total weight loss to fourteen pounds for the summer. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Funny how I always convince myself I've gained and I always end up losing.

People who lose weight are always excited about losing pounds. They, like me, exclaim it. I wonder if they do that in Britain and if it ever causes confusion, considering a pound is also their form of currency. I have to find a British person and ask...

I promised to have today's list be about innappropriate times to say "I've mastered it", but after I took out the really hilarious yet inappropriate ones, I was left with two, so no list today.

Tomorrow's forecast: What I would say if my future child asked where babies came from.

And then I found a fairy. Her name was Helga and she smelled of a hangover and formaldehyde.

Here are some updates on the things I've been doing.

Guitar: Okay, so I've been bad and hardly played guitar at all! I've wanted to play so bad but I've been so busy with other things. Honestly, I just don't want to play my instruments around my family. When I play music I'd like to pretend I'm in my own little world, but if my parents are home they insist on commenting on my playing. I get that they are trying to be nice and compliment their child, but honestly I'd appreciate it more if my family just pretended they didn't hear anything. Another part of me that likes to live as if I'm living alone, even when I'm with others. I could sit in my room all day and do nothing and still feel like I have had a good day, and my parents haven't really adjusted to that yet.

Weight loss: Big update here. I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I know that in order to lose weight you don't want to eat too few calories and you don't want to eat too many as well. I don't know, however, how many calories are too few! I think right now I'd be losing weight faster if I actually new this number because my body is going into preservation mode and holding on to the calories I'm eating. I'm planning and talking to my doctor this week about a bunch of stuff to help me be a little bit more efficient. Wouldn't it be something if in order to lose weight I had to eat MORE?! I've always been unconventional about pretty much every task I've ever undertaken, so I don't see why this one should be any different. Way less, eat more! The American Dream!

Family: My little brother jokes around too much. I try and talk to him like a human being and instead of responding with a serious comment, he'll make some sarcastic remark or some stupid joke and I can't get through. There are times when I'd actually like to talk to him as if we are both above the age of seven but it just hasn't happened this summer.

My mom is WAY too clingy! Oh my gosh, it's ridiculous! I go upstairs for any reason at all and it's "where are you going?" I can't go anywhere without being asked "where are you going?" This does not bode well with someone who'd prefer to live alone if they had the option. Nor does the talking during my show (I only have ONE show, and still people talk to me during it), when I have my head phones in and I'm working or watching youtube when I just spent 30 minutes trying to talk to you and I gave up, or...AH!!! I'm not saying I don't want to talk to my mom. I'm saying I don't get why she has to know everywhere I'm going when I'm in the house or why she chooses to talk to me when I'm doing something and not the other 18 hours I'm awake and sitting around doing nothing.

And apparently my dad has been trying to talk to me lately. We've never talked much, and honestly I had no idea he was trying to talk to me. I still wouldn't know if my mom hadn't of pulled me aside and told me. I think it'd be cool to actually talk to him, but I just don't see why he'd wait until I'm in what will probably be my last year at home to try and start communicating with me. I love my dad, but we've just not really ever been able to talk. Like, ever. Ironic, with me being a Communication Studies major, too, but it's not unheard of. One of the greatest Communication scholars of all time, C.S. Lewis and his father (a respected Communication
Scholar himself) NEVER spoke. They would constantly argue and yell and fight and so they just didn't speak near the end of their life. Studying communication doesn't make you a better communicator, it just lets you know what you did wrong in hindsight.


Random: I've decided that on top of my weight loss journaling, I shall return to the original intent of the blog. To be random. Back in High School I had a notebook that was filled with random thoughts and ideas and were all in list form. It was vastly innappropriate, very random, and strangely awesome. I may never get this blog up to the epic state of that notebook, but gosh darn it I'm going to try! Oh, and I'm going to continue the weight loss and other achievements updates as well. First,

People who shouldn't teach an English class

* Any of Jerry Springers guests

* Yoda- "Before E does I come, unless E after C does it come."

* Arnold Schwarzeneger- "I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT THEY WANT ME AND MY ANTECEDENTS DEAD!"

* The Hulk- "HULK HEAD HURT! WHAT WORDS?"

* That singer from the band, America- "I say I'm the best teacher alive for there ain't no one for to give me no argument about it." (If you don't get the reference, listen to "A Horse with No Name".

* Professor Quirrel from Harry Potter.

* Ms. South Carolina.

* Rosie O'Donnell, because she fails at everything but eating a family size bucket of fried chicken.

* Charlie Sheen, but I'm sure his brain is on so much cocaine, or "Tiger Blood", that he couldn't even find the classroom.



Tomorrow's forecast: What I'll be saying to atheists when they die and find out God's real.

Was she corpulant? No, just very round in the middle.

Today, I made a new life decision for myself. I'm going to do a 5k. That's what my whole weightloss will be about. When I lose enough weight and gain enough muscle to do a 5k, I will officially be...half way through losing all the weight I need to. Whatever.

So I took a good long hard look at myself today and realized that I am the most self conscious person alive. How self conscious am I? I'll tell you.

I'm so self conscious about my masculinity I question my DOGS sexuality.

I'm so self conscious about my athleticism I wonder if my grandma could out run me in a marathon.

I'm so self conscious about my bodily functions that I say "I'm sorry" after I sneeze.

I'm so self conscious about how I walk that I think paraplegics think I walk funny.

I'm so self conscious about my clothes that I'd trust a color blind persons opinion over my own on whether or not I color coordinated my clothing.

I'm so self conscious about my piano playing I say I had Elton teach me. That's why my piano skills are so gay...(this was bad)

I'm so self conscious about my spelling I think I've spelled the word "conscious" wrong this entire blog...


Okay, so I think I got my point across. That just so happened to be my only point (other then the point my head comes too. Badoom crash! I'm self conscious about my head, so please don't laugh). I guess that means it's time to go. Peace!

I'm not gonna back down

I haven't been to my apartment in about a week so I decided to get down to "collegeville" and see some friends. I make the 45 minute drive and finally pull up to my complex, unload my stuff, and walk upstairs. I walk up to my door, try to turn it, but it's locked. What the hell?

Okay, so this kid I've never met before opens the door and his stuff is freaking all over the floor. There's literally NO walking space in the room because of all his stuff in my room. I probably should have been more polite, but I was too pissed to really put THAT much thought into it. As it turns out, my roommate (the one I've lost all respect for) has decided to invite one of his friends to stay with us for month, and put him in my room. Great.

I decided to talk to my roommate the next morning (this morning) and just deal with it till then. It was already midnight and I wasn't going to deal with it at such a late hour. I had no idea, however, that this kid in my room SOUNDS LIKE FREAKING DARTH VADAR IN HIS SLEEP! This keep has snoring issues, and I didn't get to sleep until 3:00 am because of it. That's kind of put me in a foul mood all day, on top of everything else, that is.

So what's left? I'm glad I asked myself that rhetorically. You see, this next month will be entirely about revenge. I'm taking away my furniture that they use frequently (the kitchen table and the only shelf in the house) and I'm going to work from there. I've got the kid out of my room and into the living room because all I have to do is call the landlord and he's out on the street because he's an illigitimate resident. Having that really puts the ball in my court for the last month of my lease. Ironically, I was going to move out early, but I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of thinking they ran me off. Now I'm staying this whole last month and I'm going to force them to respect me, as they've failed to do for an entire year. I have the upper hand, I'm making myself heard, and I will win this.

Oh, and I ate a huge lunch today and don't know if I'll be going for a run because friends are getting together. Hopefully it won't hurt my weightloss too much, but it'll be nice to visit with friends, or really anybody with a soul for that matter. Random, I know, but I feel like most of this blog is about my weight loss so I felt like I should put something in there about it.

My friends joke about me murdering my roommates. That won't happen until after I ask Casey Anthony how she got the smell of death out of her car (I kid, I kid).

MONEY!

I actually freaking lost weight! I lost another two pounds this week, and that brings my total weight loss to 12 lbs. I can't believe it because I skipped my walks/runs a couple times this week and I definitely ate a lot over these past couple of days! It may have something to do with my second work out routine I've added.

I get a little bit tougher on myself every week and this past week I added a morning working routine AND THEN my evening walks/run. I didn't think I was getting much from it yet, but apprently I am.

Oh, and I need to get off Youtube for a while. I took a nap today and in my dream that song "Never Gonna Give You Up" randomly started playing in my head. That's right, my subconscious played a bitter prank on me...I was Rick Rolled in my freaking sleep! NOOOOOO!

Tomorrow is gonna SUCK!

Short post, today. My weigh in is tomorrow and I am nervous because I had a birthday celebration and the 4th of July usually means a lot of food. Basically, even though I'm working out more then before, I know I've not kept off all of what I lost. I'll just have to take it like a man and get back on the horse next week. Celebrations happen and I'm not going to make my diet a reason to not enjoy myself, so that's why I allowed myself to eat the way I have.

Man of the Hour

Why do I waste so much time? I have so many things I know I need to do, but it's just really hard to get there. I feel great having lost this weight that I may have gained back some because of the 4th, but there still so much I should be doing that's just not happening.

I sit around all day and I don't take care of business, even though my more productive days are better. If I wake up early and work I usually feel really good about my day, but still I just sleep in and then when I wake up I don't get anything done! I just sit on youtube and facebook or at my Wii and throw the day away, but I know there's a bunch more stuff I'd like to do. I'm not spending any time with friends, so I can't blame my social life for procrastination. I feel like I know the missing puzzle piece here, but it's a hard step to take.

It's prayer. I used to pray every day when I got up and went to bed. Then things kinda didn't go so well. Two semesters ago I gave a talk on prayer, yet right now I can honestly say that I haven't really prayed in 8 months...that's bad.

A man can find strength in many things, and at one time I had myself rooted in my music and in God. But I feel less connected to music then I ever have, and my prayer life is a distant memory for me. A detox of sorts from these were necessary for last year, and now it's time to come back.

At one time I prayed constantly that I lose my dependence on friends, family, and anything that wasn't me or God. My prayer was answered, but when it was time to turn to God I relied on myself, which is insanity. I don't feel close to anyone right now because I've been doing everything by myself for so long, but I need God. I always have. To those people who say they don't need God or who don't believe in Him, I have to honestly admit that I don't have enough faith to be an athiest or to believe only in myself.

My limited faith will answer another prayer though, I just have to believe. Being an 'A' student, losing the rest of this weight, and coming back to God are all possible and very much within my reach. I'm coming home.

Alterior motives

Okay, so here's a recap. I'm wanting to change my perception to something decidedly less negative, I want to change my weight to match that of a human beings and not of a manitee, and I want to change the way I dress just because it's about time I put SOME thought into it. And I'm doing it all totally for myself!

Sorta...

You see, there's a problem with the word "sorta". You can't just throw it out there and not explain yourself. I hate it when my friends do that (or something similar) and I'm not going to be a hypocrite...

So what's the big deal? It's not just because I want to make these changes for myself. There's one other reason that's pretty big. Not just to improve myself, but to make a new me and kiss the old me goodbye. When I move away from Texas (which I totally will) thing are going to be different. People won't know me as the guy who got his act together Junior year of college. I'll be the guy who's always had his act together, as far as they know. 5 years down the road I want to be in Chicago and look back on everything and find comfort in knowing that I'm not who I was. I guess it's just another thing that drives me forward.

Oh, and I've been putting Weight loss in my labels as one word. I've just now remembered that it's two words. Oops.

Running forward

I'm really not doing that bad on my summer goals. I actually can't believe I'm saying it, but I may actually accomplish them. I've never completed everything on my summer to-do list before, so I'm mega pumped. It's not just finishing my to-do list, it's what happens after that I'm excited about.

I'll get to bust out my guitar and jam with my friends, instead of just watching in amazement, wear clothes that aren't large enough to fit a manitee, and I'll actually have more energy. I'm alrady kinda sorta feeling that last one, but it will be significantly better once I've lost more weight.

I want to approach everything differently next year, and that's why I'm starting now. My music, clothing, personality, body, mood, grades, prayer life, etc. all kinda ride on my motivation to get my summer goals achieved, and it's actually happening. As I'm chugging along through my first couple of goals, I'm researching and getting ready for the next few things I want to make happen and it's also looking pretty do-able. I'm not looking for a complete 180 of my life because there are a lot of parts of myself I like. I'm just focusing on fixing those few minor details I've always wanted to get around too.

Tomorrow is particularly a big day because I have lost enough weight to warrent new pants. Yay. Getting something else to workout in would be nice, too, because my walking pace is starting to pick up quite a bit, and week after next my schedule has me starting my running. Can't believe that time is so close, either! Most people would think I'm crazy for putting off running for this long and just going with walking, but I have a schedule and pace I like to follow, and it's worked out so far. May need to invest in running shoes, too. My shoes are not very good for running, so losing weight has just started to get expensive...

Just another week

Well, it's another week and I'm still breathing. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Today is two weeks after I started trying to lose weight. I weighed myself this morning and I'm 8 lbs less from two weeks ago. At least something is working out for me.

I've had some stuff on my mind, lately. I'm missing a certain thrill, it's been a while since I've been some place new, met new people, or did new things with old friends, and I'm not doing anything with my time but play Zelda and sleep. I want a bit more adventure then I'm used too. It's like I'm stuck in a rut as long as I'm in Pflugerville. Partially because there's nothing to do here and also because I want nothing to do with the people I once knew here. I'm ready for a new identity and for my old one to just fade away into obscurity, and for that to happen I need to get out of this place. It's becoming more clear to me that if I want to be happy, I might have to seriously start working out my plan to move to Chicago.

There is one person, though, whom I wouldn't mind keeping in contact with while I'm here, but that's not possible. You see my best fried from high school lives a few streets over from me, and I kinda would like to hang out with him again. Problem is, he has a new friend he hangs out with and we cannot stand the sight of each other. He gives me uncomfortable looks when my best friend isn't looking and I return the favor. It's very unfortunate and now that everything is said and done we're left with a bunch of people with nothing to do.

So I'll just continue playing my guitar, watching Youtube, playing Zelda, and losing weight. I may not have that much contact with people this summer, but at least I'll be productive...I guess.