I haven't posted in a while. I've just been doing other things lately.
Weightloss: Crap. I may be close to a plateau. I lost a single pound this week. On the bright side I lost a total of 16 lbs this summer, but I was kind of hoping not to slow down on my weight loss before I leave for my trip to Minnesotta. Dang.
An observation: I must be the must a boring friend. I called a bunch of my friends today, and not a single one of them answered. I hadn't seen these friends in a while and I was thinking it would be nice to hang out again, but nothing. Some of their phones were even off, which means they were doing something. Meaning I had another day at home alone. My friends tell me the plans I make are too extreme or too boring. I have no middle ground. I really need to get out of the house. Can school start please?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!!
Random fact of the year: Men can lactate. There was a video of it on Tosh.0 and I'm scarred for life. Thanks to man lactation (Mantation), I'm going to have to answer the age old question with an astounding; "YES. Apprently, we do got milk." Who'd a thought?
Weight loss: I lost another two pounds this week and I'm happy. I did it mostly with dieting because I've been too lazy to go running. It's nice to know, though, that running it totally an option for me and taking a break hasn't affected my weightloss one bit. It's actually kind of weird.
The confusion: My priest said to me the other day, and quite randomly so, that I should consider what it is that God is asking me to do with my life. People live there whole lives trying to figure out their purpose and my priest says to me, "I think it's time you looked into that more. He might be calling you to something."
First of all, I'm now confused as to what my priest knows that God hasn't told me. Second, it's really weird that he should have asked me this question when a few days before I find myself considering the same question. Twilight zone? It just may be.
Weight loss: I lost another two pounds this week and I'm happy. I did it mostly with dieting because I've been too lazy to go running. It's nice to know, though, that running it totally an option for me and taking a break hasn't affected my weightloss one bit. It's actually kind of weird.
The confusion: My priest said to me the other day, and quite randomly so, that I should consider what it is that God is asking me to do with my life. People live there whole lives trying to figure out their purpose and my priest says to me, "I think it's time you looked into that more. He might be calling you to something."
First of all, I'm now confused as to what my priest knows that God hasn't told me. Second, it's really weird that he should have asked me this question when a few days before I find myself considering the same question. Twilight zone? It just may be.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Conversations worth while
I've noticed that I talk too much. I really do. I don't know when it happened, I don't know why, but all of a sudden I can't help but speak.
When I was younger I spoke much less the I do now, and I was happier for it. People listened to me and typically if I said anything at all it was worth listening too. I wish I could still say that of myself now, though. I still maintain my deep admiration for those who recognize the value of silence but I am no longer able to replicate it. I have been constantly surrounded by people who enjoy a pleasant conversation and to sit and shoot the breaze, and being around these people has made me similar in my approach to conversation. But there was a time when I would honestly enjoy just being around someone and not even bother with words. There presence was enough.
I guess it's just something else to work on. I'm really looking at myself hard lately and trying to fix too many things, but won't it be something when I get where I'm going?
When I was younger I spoke much less the I do now, and I was happier for it. People listened to me and typically if I said anything at all it was worth listening too. I wish I could still say that of myself now, though. I still maintain my deep admiration for those who recognize the value of silence but I am no longer able to replicate it. I have been constantly surrounded by people who enjoy a pleasant conversation and to sit and shoot the breaze, and being around these people has made me similar in my approach to conversation. But there was a time when I would honestly enjoy just being around someone and not even bother with words. There presence was enough.
I guess it's just something else to work on. I'm really looking at myself hard lately and trying to fix too many things, but won't it be something when I get where I'm going?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Stay offa My Facebook...
I'm dropping myself off of Facebook and Twitter for the rest of the summer. It sucks, because I'm staying off of it for the rest of the summer and I'm seeing how different things are.
How sad is it that my life changes from not being on social media? It corrupts our thoughts, for sure. I'm still facing demons, and it's not until I've stopped convincing myself I'm not alone via Facebook that I realized that...I'm alone. It's what I asked for. It's just not a mindset I was prepared to be in yet, but I guess I arrived early. Autonomy. Self sufficiency. I'm moving closer to it every day. It's a necessary part of my plans to go away and set up a new life.
When I get back to Facebook and Twitter I'm doing some serious friend/follower cleaning. People I don't need to be friends with or who I don't even know have got to be dropped. I kind of started right before I signed off, but I'm going to finish the job when I get back. People who start drama are gone, as well as people that I have to pretend to like. It's just time to get my digital life straightened out.
I wish that there was a way to block social media sites at certain times of the day to limit our access. I could get so much more done that way if only I could limit myself. Imagine a program that only lets you get online for an hour a day. Like, say, between 6:00 and 7:00? Send a tweet, update your status, gawk at your old High Schools pictures and wonder when she turned into such a slut, take bets on how long new relationships will last, and then get forced off right at 7:00. Sounds perfect to me.
How sad is it that my life changes from not being on social media? It corrupts our thoughts, for sure. I'm still facing demons, and it's not until I've stopped convincing myself I'm not alone via Facebook that I realized that...I'm alone. It's what I asked for. It's just not a mindset I was prepared to be in yet, but I guess I arrived early. Autonomy. Self sufficiency. I'm moving closer to it every day. It's a necessary part of my plans to go away and set up a new life.
When I get back to Facebook and Twitter I'm doing some serious friend/follower cleaning. People I don't need to be friends with or who I don't even know have got to be dropped. I kind of started right before I signed off, but I'm going to finish the job when I get back. People who start drama are gone, as well as people that I have to pretend to like. It's just time to get my digital life straightened out.
I wish that there was a way to block social media sites at certain times of the day to limit our access. I could get so much more done that way if only I could limit myself. Imagine a program that only lets you get online for an hour a day. Like, say, between 6:00 and 7:00? Send a tweet, update your status, gawk at your old High Schools pictures and wonder when she turned into such a slut, take bets on how long new relationships will last, and then get forced off right at 7:00. Sounds perfect to me.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Am I the only guy to have a thing for his dental hygienist?
My day: I went to the dentists office today and got the young, attractive dental hygienist again. I don't know how I always end up with the young ones when half the time the place is run by old ladies. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. Unfortunately she was also a little forceful, being very proactive in making me uncomfortable and bleed. "Oops, did I get you?" was a common phrase uttered in my 45 minute visit there. I didn't respond but I wanted to say, "No, I always bleed randomly from my gums like that. You don't think that's a problem, do you?"
I also was planning on going to San Marcos today because I thought some friends of mine were going to watch Harry Potter in preperation for the final movie coming out. Turns out they decided to watch it a few days ago and forgot to mention it to me. Funny how that happens.
Weight Loss: I weighed in a day early because I thought I'd be in Collegeville tomorrow, and it turns out that I have lost two more pounds! That brings my total weight loss to fourteen pounds for the summer. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Funny how I always convince myself I've gained and I always end up losing.
People who lose weight are always excited about losing pounds. They, like me, exclaim it. I wonder if they do that in Britain and if it ever causes confusion, considering a pound is also their form of currency. I have to find a British person and ask...
I promised to have today's list be about innappropriate times to say "I've mastered it", but after I took out the really hilarious yet inappropriate ones, I was left with two, so no list today.
Tomorrow's forecast: What I would say if my future child asked where babies came from.
I also was planning on going to San Marcos today because I thought some friends of mine were going to watch Harry Potter in preperation for the final movie coming out. Turns out they decided to watch it a few days ago and forgot to mention it to me. Funny how that happens.
Weight Loss: I weighed in a day early because I thought I'd be in Collegeville tomorrow, and it turns out that I have lost two more pounds! That brings my total weight loss to fourteen pounds for the summer. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Funny how I always convince myself I've gained and I always end up losing.
People who lose weight are always excited about losing pounds. They, like me, exclaim it. I wonder if they do that in Britain and if it ever causes confusion, considering a pound is also their form of currency. I have to find a British person and ask...
I promised to have today's list be about innappropriate times to say "I've mastered it", but after I took out the really hilarious yet inappropriate ones, I was left with two, so no list today.
Tomorrow's forecast: What I would say if my future child asked where babies came from.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
She offered to make me a sandwich. I proposed. Simple as that.
Slurpee day: Just discovered something exciting! Weight loss doesn't mean I have to give up slurpee day! Turns out that a small slurpee only has 60 calories in most flavors so next semester's slurpee days are still a go! I even went and had a slurpee today because they were free for 7/11/11. It was so good to have one of those again! I feel like I've been seriously missing those.
Weight Loss: My weigh in is coming up in a couple of days and I'm not so sure about this one. I know I haven't been for the past couple of days, but I've taken a risk and started taking in a few more calories. I feel like I was way under what I should have been consuming in a day, so hopefully this doesn't hurt me in my efforts. And no run/walk today, either. A couple of friends from San Marcos randomly decided to show up at my door step so I really didn't have an option. It was good to see my friends, though. I have to say that my friends are amazing and I'm so lucky to have them, even if they do make me fat.
Now, as promised, a list of things I will say to athiests in the afterlife.
* Told you. (This is tops of everyone's list)
* Waking up early for Sunday morning church doesn't seem so silly now, does it?
* What, does this really surprise you? Bruce Lee kicking Chuck Norris' butt was a surprise. We told you about this one.
* "Yeah, God's real. He's everywhere. You can't hide yo kids, hide yo wife, or yo husbands cause He's blessing errbody out there." -Antoine interjecting during legitimate discussion with recently deceased atheist.
* A two-year old's attempt at coloring inside the lines of a coloring book is more accurate then the History Channel's depiction of God. Don't worry, he's not that bad. Come on! Let's go meet Him! He has donuts and coffee. It's just like at church!
* "I'm sorry, athiests check in at the motel right there by the gate. Bazinga! Just kidding!" -St. Peter
* Don't worry, we won't treat you any differently here for having disbelieved in your lifetime. However, you will be rooming with Ahmed Best, the voice actor for Jar Jar Binks. Sorry.
* We disagreed on political and religious levels during your lifetime. Can we at least admit that Harry Potter would have rocked out loud with an eighties montage?
Okay, that's all of them. I'm slowly getting back into my usual train of thought for these but, to be honest, it's hard to write these and stay appropriate. I have a million more but they'd offend half of China, all of America, Montreal, midgets, and Sarah Palin. I decided it would be best to keep these to myself. Sorry, Sarah.
Tomorrow's forecast: Bad times to shout the phrase, "I've mastered it!"
Weight Loss: My weigh in is coming up in a couple of days and I'm not so sure about this one. I know I haven't been for the past couple of days, but I've taken a risk and started taking in a few more calories. I feel like I was way under what I should have been consuming in a day, so hopefully this doesn't hurt me in my efforts. And no run/walk today, either. A couple of friends from San Marcos randomly decided to show up at my door step so I really didn't have an option. It was good to see my friends, though. I have to say that my friends are amazing and I'm so lucky to have them, even if they do make me fat.
Now, as promised, a list of things I will say to athiests in the afterlife.
* Told you. (This is tops of everyone's list)
* Waking up early for Sunday morning church doesn't seem so silly now, does it?
* What, does this really surprise you? Bruce Lee kicking Chuck Norris' butt was a surprise. We told you about this one.
* "Yeah, God's real. He's everywhere. You can't hide yo kids, hide yo wife, or yo husbands cause He's blessing errbody out there." -Antoine interjecting during legitimate discussion with recently deceased atheist.
* A two-year old's attempt at coloring inside the lines of a coloring book is more accurate then the History Channel's depiction of God. Don't worry, he's not that bad. Come on! Let's go meet Him! He has donuts and coffee. It's just like at church!
* "I'm sorry, athiests check in at the motel right there by the gate. Bazinga! Just kidding!" -St. Peter
* Don't worry, we won't treat you any differently here for having disbelieved in your lifetime. However, you will be rooming with Ahmed Best, the voice actor for Jar Jar Binks. Sorry.
* We disagreed on political and religious levels during your lifetime. Can we at least admit that Harry Potter would have rocked out loud with an eighties montage?
Okay, that's all of them. I'm slowly getting back into my usual train of thought for these but, to be honest, it's hard to write these and stay appropriate. I have a million more but they'd offend half of China, all of America, Montreal, midgets, and Sarah Palin. I decided it would be best to keep these to myself. Sorry, Sarah.
Tomorrow's forecast: Bad times to shout the phrase, "I've mastered it!"
And then I found a fairy. Her name was Helga and she smelled of a hangover and formaldehyde.
Here are some updates on the things I've been doing.
Guitar: Okay, so I've been bad and hardly played guitar at all! I've wanted to play so bad but I've been so busy with other things. Honestly, I just don't want to play my instruments around my family. When I play music I'd like to pretend I'm in my own little world, but if my parents are home they insist on commenting on my playing. I get that they are trying to be nice and compliment their child, but honestly I'd appreciate it more if my family just pretended they didn't hear anything. Another part of me that likes to live as if I'm living alone, even when I'm with others. I could sit in my room all day and do nothing and still feel like I have had a good day, and my parents haven't really adjusted to that yet.
Weight loss: Big update here. I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I know that in order to lose weight you don't want to eat too few calories and you don't want to eat too many as well. I don't know, however, how many calories are too few! I think right now I'd be losing weight faster if I actually new this number because my body is going into preservation mode and holding on to the calories I'm eating. I'm planning and talking to my doctor this week about a bunch of stuff to help me be a little bit more efficient. Wouldn't it be something if in order to lose weight I had to eat MORE?! I've always been unconventional about pretty much every task I've ever undertaken, so I don't see why this one should be any different. Way less, eat more! The American Dream!
Family: My little brother jokes around too much. I try and talk to him like a human being and instead of responding with a serious comment, he'll make some sarcastic remark or some stupid joke and I can't get through. There are times when I'd actually like to talk to him as if we are both above the age of seven but it just hasn't happened this summer.
My mom is WAY too clingy! Oh my gosh, it's ridiculous! I go upstairs for any reason at all and it's "where are you going?" I can't go anywhere without being asked "where are you going?" This does not bode well with someone who'd prefer to live alone if they had the option. Nor does the talking during my show (I only have ONE show, and still people talk to me during it), when I have my head phones in and I'm working or watching youtube when I just spent 30 minutes trying to talk to you and I gave up, or...AH!!! I'm not saying I don't want to talk to my mom. I'm saying I don't get why she has to know everywhere I'm going when I'm in the house or why she chooses to talk to me when I'm doing something and not the other 18 hours I'm awake and sitting around doing nothing.
And apparently my dad has been trying to talk to me lately. We've never talked much, and honestly I had no idea he was trying to talk to me. I still wouldn't know if my mom hadn't of pulled me aside and told me. I think it'd be cool to actually talk to him, but I just don't see why he'd wait until I'm in what will probably be my last year at home to try and start communicating with me. I love my dad, but we've just not really ever been able to talk. Like, ever. Ironic, with me being a Communication Studies major, too, but it's not unheard of. One of the greatest Communication scholars of all time, C.S. Lewis and his father (a respected Communication
Scholar himself) NEVER spoke. They would constantly argue and yell and fight and so they just didn't speak near the end of their life. Studying communication doesn't make you a better communicator, it just lets you know what you did wrong in hindsight.
Random: I've decided that on top of my weight loss journaling, I shall return to the original intent of the blog. To be random. Back in High School I had a notebook that was filled with random thoughts and ideas and were all in list form. It was vastly innappropriate, very random, and strangely awesome. I may never get this blog up to the epic state of that notebook, but gosh darn it I'm going to try! Oh, and I'm going to continue the weight loss and other achievements updates as well. First,
People who shouldn't teach an English class
* Any of Jerry Springers guests
* Yoda- "Before E does I come, unless E after C does it come."
* Arnold Schwarzeneger- "I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT THEY WANT ME AND MY ANTECEDENTS DEAD!"
* The Hulk- "HULK HEAD HURT! WHAT WORDS?"
* That singer from the band, America- "I say I'm the best teacher alive for there ain't no one for to give me no argument about it." (If you don't get the reference, listen to "A Horse with No Name".
* Professor Quirrel from Harry Potter.
* Ms. South Carolina.
* Rosie O'Donnell, because she fails at everything but eating a family size bucket of fried chicken.
* Charlie Sheen, but I'm sure his brain is on so much cocaine, or "Tiger Blood", that he couldn't even find the classroom.
Tomorrow's forecast: What I'll be saying to atheists when they die and find out God's real.
Guitar: Okay, so I've been bad and hardly played guitar at all! I've wanted to play so bad but I've been so busy with other things. Honestly, I just don't want to play my instruments around my family. When I play music I'd like to pretend I'm in my own little world, but if my parents are home they insist on commenting on my playing. I get that they are trying to be nice and compliment their child, but honestly I'd appreciate it more if my family just pretended they didn't hear anything. Another part of me that likes to live as if I'm living alone, even when I'm with others. I could sit in my room all day and do nothing and still feel like I have had a good day, and my parents haven't really adjusted to that yet.
Weight loss: Big update here. I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I know that in order to lose weight you don't want to eat too few calories and you don't want to eat too many as well. I don't know, however, how many calories are too few! I think right now I'd be losing weight faster if I actually new this number because my body is going into preservation mode and holding on to the calories I'm eating. I'm planning and talking to my doctor this week about a bunch of stuff to help me be a little bit more efficient. Wouldn't it be something if in order to lose weight I had to eat MORE?! I've always been unconventional about pretty much every task I've ever undertaken, so I don't see why this one should be any different. Way less, eat more! The American Dream!
Family: My little brother jokes around too much. I try and talk to him like a human being and instead of responding with a serious comment, he'll make some sarcastic remark or some stupid joke and I can't get through. There are times when I'd actually like to talk to him as if we are both above the age of seven but it just hasn't happened this summer.
My mom is WAY too clingy! Oh my gosh, it's ridiculous! I go upstairs for any reason at all and it's "where are you going?" I can't go anywhere without being asked "where are you going?" This does not bode well with someone who'd prefer to live alone if they had the option. Nor does the talking during my show (I only have ONE show, and still people talk to me during it), when I have my head phones in and I'm working or watching youtube when I just spent 30 minutes trying to talk to you and I gave up, or...AH!!! I'm not saying I don't want to talk to my mom. I'm saying I don't get why she has to know everywhere I'm going when I'm in the house or why she chooses to talk to me when I'm doing something and not the other 18 hours I'm awake and sitting around doing nothing.
And apparently my dad has been trying to talk to me lately. We've never talked much, and honestly I had no idea he was trying to talk to me. I still wouldn't know if my mom hadn't of pulled me aside and told me. I think it'd be cool to actually talk to him, but I just don't see why he'd wait until I'm in what will probably be my last year at home to try and start communicating with me. I love my dad, but we've just not really ever been able to talk. Like, ever. Ironic, with me being a Communication Studies major, too, but it's not unheard of. One of the greatest Communication scholars of all time, C.S. Lewis and his father (a respected Communication
Scholar himself) NEVER spoke. They would constantly argue and yell and fight and so they just didn't speak near the end of their life. Studying communication doesn't make you a better communicator, it just lets you know what you did wrong in hindsight.
Random: I've decided that on top of my weight loss journaling, I shall return to the original intent of the blog. To be random. Back in High School I had a notebook that was filled with random thoughts and ideas and were all in list form. It was vastly innappropriate, very random, and strangely awesome. I may never get this blog up to the epic state of that notebook, but gosh darn it I'm going to try! Oh, and I'm going to continue the weight loss and other achievements updates as well. First,
People who shouldn't teach an English class
* Any of Jerry Springers guests
* Yoda- "Before E does I come, unless E after C does it come."
* Arnold Schwarzeneger- "I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT THEY WANT ME AND MY ANTECEDENTS DEAD!"
* The Hulk- "HULK HEAD HURT! WHAT WORDS?"
* That singer from the band, America- "I say I'm the best teacher alive for there ain't no one for to give me no argument about it." (If you don't get the reference, listen to "A Horse with No Name".
* Professor Quirrel from Harry Potter.
* Ms. South Carolina.
* Rosie O'Donnell, because she fails at everything but eating a family size bucket of fried chicken.
* Charlie Sheen, but I'm sure his brain is on so much cocaine, or "Tiger Blood", that he couldn't even find the classroom.
Tomorrow's forecast: What I'll be saying to atheists when they die and find out God's real.
Was she corpulant? No, just very round in the middle.
Today, I made a new life decision for myself. I'm going to do a 5k. That's what my whole weightloss will be about. When I lose enough weight and gain enough muscle to do a 5k, I will officially be...half way through losing all the weight I need to. Whatever.
So I took a good long hard look at myself today and realized that I am the most self conscious person alive. How self conscious am I? I'll tell you.
I'm so self conscious about my masculinity I question my DOGS sexuality.
I'm so self conscious about my athleticism I wonder if my grandma could out run me in a marathon.
I'm so self conscious about my bodily functions that I say "I'm sorry" after I sneeze.
I'm so self conscious about how I walk that I think paraplegics think I walk funny.
I'm so self conscious about my clothes that I'd trust a color blind persons opinion over my own on whether or not I color coordinated my clothing.
I'm so self conscious about my piano playing I say I had Elton teach me. That's why my piano skills are so gay...(this was bad)
I'm so self conscious about my spelling I think I've spelled the word "conscious" wrong this entire blog...
Okay, so I think I got my point across. That just so happened to be my only point (other then the point my head comes too. Badoom crash! I'm self conscious about my head, so please don't laugh). I guess that means it's time to go. Peace!
So I took a good long hard look at myself today and realized that I am the most self conscious person alive. How self conscious am I? I'll tell you.
I'm so self conscious about my masculinity I question my DOGS sexuality.
I'm so self conscious about my athleticism I wonder if my grandma could out run me in a marathon.
I'm so self conscious about my bodily functions that I say "I'm sorry" after I sneeze.
I'm so self conscious about how I walk that I think paraplegics think I walk funny.
I'm so self conscious about my clothes that I'd trust a color blind persons opinion over my own on whether or not I color coordinated my clothing.
I'm so self conscious about my piano playing I say I had Elton teach me. That's why my piano skills are so gay...(this was bad)
I'm so self conscious about my spelling I think I've spelled the word "conscious" wrong this entire blog...
Okay, so I think I got my point across. That just so happened to be my only point (other then the point my head comes too. Badoom crash! I'm self conscious about my head, so please don't laugh). I guess that means it's time to go. Peace!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Where'd you learn that? Clown School?
Today has been an interesting day. I'm still a little ticked off at my roommates for lending out my room to a stranger, at least I can say that I put that anger to good use. I woke up irritated still and I started my workout and had one of the best workouts I've had since I started losing weight. Angry workouts are the best!
And then I ate too many calories today. Like, way too much. It was bad. Not nearly as bad as last night (I went to a Harry Potter marathon party), but it was still bad. So on top of my angry workout this morning I took my walk this evening to try and make up for how I've been eating. I really just need to stay out of San Marcos. That's where calories get you, but in Homeville Texas they keep there distance.
Okay, I has headache. I'm going to bed. Peace.
And then I ate too many calories today. Like, way too much. It was bad. Not nearly as bad as last night (I went to a Harry Potter marathon party), but it was still bad. So on top of my angry workout this morning I took my walk this evening to try and make up for how I've been eating. I really just need to stay out of San Marcos. That's where calories get you, but in Homeville Texas they keep there distance.
Okay, I has headache. I'm going to bed. Peace.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I'm not gonna back down
I haven't been to my apartment in about a week so I decided to get down to "collegeville" and see some friends. I make the 45 minute drive and finally pull up to my complex, unload my stuff, and walk upstairs. I walk up to my door, try to turn it, but it's locked. What the hell?
Okay, so this kid I've never met before opens the door and his stuff is freaking all over the floor. There's literally NO walking space in the room because of all his stuff in my room. I probably should have been more polite, but I was too pissed to really put THAT much thought into it. As it turns out, my roommate (the one I've lost all respect for) has decided to invite one of his friends to stay with us for month, and put him in my room. Great.
I decided to talk to my roommate the next morning (this morning) and just deal with it till then. It was already midnight and I wasn't going to deal with it at such a late hour. I had no idea, however, that this kid in my room SOUNDS LIKE FREAKING DARTH VADAR IN HIS SLEEP! This keep has snoring issues, and I didn't get to sleep until 3:00 am because of it. That's kind of put me in a foul mood all day, on top of everything else, that is.
So what's left? I'm glad I asked myself that rhetorically. You see, this next month will be entirely about revenge. I'm taking away my furniture that they use frequently (the kitchen table and the only shelf in the house) and I'm going to work from there. I've got the kid out of my room and into the living room because all I have to do is call the landlord and he's out on the street because he's an illigitimate resident. Having that really puts the ball in my court for the last month of my lease. Ironically, I was going to move out early, but I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of thinking they ran me off. Now I'm staying this whole last month and I'm going to force them to respect me, as they've failed to do for an entire year. I have the upper hand, I'm making myself heard, and I will win this.
Oh, and I ate a huge lunch today and don't know if I'll be going for a run because friends are getting together. Hopefully it won't hurt my weightloss too much, but it'll be nice to visit with friends, or really anybody with a soul for that matter. Random, I know, but I feel like most of this blog is about my weight loss so I felt like I should put something in there about it.
My friends joke about me murdering my roommates. That won't happen until after I ask Casey Anthony how she got the smell of death out of her car (I kid, I kid).
Okay, so this kid I've never met before opens the door and his stuff is freaking all over the floor. There's literally NO walking space in the room because of all his stuff in my room. I probably should have been more polite, but I was too pissed to really put THAT much thought into it. As it turns out, my roommate (the one I've lost all respect for) has decided to invite one of his friends to stay with us for month, and put him in my room. Great.
I decided to talk to my roommate the next morning (this morning) and just deal with it till then. It was already midnight and I wasn't going to deal with it at such a late hour. I had no idea, however, that this kid in my room SOUNDS LIKE FREAKING DARTH VADAR IN HIS SLEEP! This keep has snoring issues, and I didn't get to sleep until 3:00 am because of it. That's kind of put me in a foul mood all day, on top of everything else, that is.
So what's left? I'm glad I asked myself that rhetorically. You see, this next month will be entirely about revenge. I'm taking away my furniture that they use frequently (the kitchen table and the only shelf in the house) and I'm going to work from there. I've got the kid out of my room and into the living room because all I have to do is call the landlord and he's out on the street because he's an illigitimate resident. Having that really puts the ball in my court for the last month of my lease. Ironically, I was going to move out early, but I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of thinking they ran me off. Now I'm staying this whole last month and I'm going to force them to respect me, as they've failed to do for an entire year. I have the upper hand, I'm making myself heard, and I will win this.
Oh, and I ate a huge lunch today and don't know if I'll be going for a run because friends are getting together. Hopefully it won't hurt my weightloss too much, but it'll be nice to visit with friends, or really anybody with a soul for that matter. Random, I know, but I feel like most of this blog is about my weight loss so I felt like I should put something in there about it.
My friends joke about me murdering my roommates. That won't happen until after I ask Casey Anthony how she got the smell of death out of her car (I kid, I kid).
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
MONEY!
I actually freaking lost weight! I lost another two pounds this week, and that brings my total weight loss to 12 lbs. I can't believe it because I skipped my walks/runs a couple times this week and I definitely ate a lot over these past couple of days! It may have something to do with my second work out routine I've added.
I get a little bit tougher on myself every week and this past week I added a morning working routine AND THEN my evening walks/run. I didn't think I was getting much from it yet, but apprently I am.
Oh, and I need to get off Youtube for a while. I took a nap today and in my dream that song "Never Gonna Give You Up" randomly started playing in my head. That's right, my subconscious played a bitter prank on me...I was Rick Rolled in my freaking sleep! NOOOOOO!
I get a little bit tougher on myself every week and this past week I added a morning working routine AND THEN my evening walks/run. I didn't think I was getting much from it yet, but apprently I am.
Oh, and I need to get off Youtube for a while. I took a nap today and in my dream that song "Never Gonna Give You Up" randomly started playing in my head. That's right, my subconscious played a bitter prank on me...I was Rick Rolled in my freaking sleep! NOOOOOO!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tomorrow is gonna SUCK!
Short post, today. My weigh in is tomorrow and I am nervous because I had a birthday celebration and the 4th of July usually means a lot of food. Basically, even though I'm working out more then before, I know I've not kept off all of what I lost. I'll just have to take it like a man and get back on the horse next week. Celebrations happen and I'm not going to make my diet a reason to not enjoy myself, so that's why I allowed myself to eat the way I have.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Man of the Hour
Why do I waste so much time? I have so many things I know I need to do, but it's just really hard to get there. I feel great having lost this weight that I may have gained back some because of the 4th, but there still so much I should be doing that's just not happening.
I sit around all day and I don't take care of business, even though my more productive days are better. If I wake up early and work I usually feel really good about my day, but still I just sleep in and then when I wake up I don't get anything done! I just sit on youtube and facebook or at my Wii and throw the day away, but I know there's a bunch more stuff I'd like to do. I'm not spending any time with friends, so I can't blame my social life for procrastination. I feel like I know the missing puzzle piece here, but it's a hard step to take.
It's prayer. I used to pray every day when I got up and went to bed. Then things kinda didn't go so well. Two semesters ago I gave a talk on prayer, yet right now I can honestly say that I haven't really prayed in 8 months...that's bad.
A man can find strength in many things, and at one time I had myself rooted in my music and in God. But I feel less connected to music then I ever have, and my prayer life is a distant memory for me. A detox of sorts from these were necessary for last year, and now it's time to come back.
At one time I prayed constantly that I lose my dependence on friends, family, and anything that wasn't me or God. My prayer was answered, but when it was time to turn to God I relied on myself, which is insanity. I don't feel close to anyone right now because I've been doing everything by myself for so long, but I need God. I always have. To those people who say they don't need God or who don't believe in Him, I have to honestly admit that I don't have enough faith to be an athiest or to believe only in myself.
My limited faith will answer another prayer though, I just have to believe. Being an 'A' student, losing the rest of this weight, and coming back to God are all possible and very much within my reach. I'm coming home.
I sit around all day and I don't take care of business, even though my more productive days are better. If I wake up early and work I usually feel really good about my day, but still I just sleep in and then when I wake up I don't get anything done! I just sit on youtube and facebook or at my Wii and throw the day away, but I know there's a bunch more stuff I'd like to do. I'm not spending any time with friends, so I can't blame my social life for procrastination. I feel like I know the missing puzzle piece here, but it's a hard step to take.
It's prayer. I used to pray every day when I got up and went to bed. Then things kinda didn't go so well. Two semesters ago I gave a talk on prayer, yet right now I can honestly say that I haven't really prayed in 8 months...that's bad.
A man can find strength in many things, and at one time I had myself rooted in my music and in God. But I feel less connected to music then I ever have, and my prayer life is a distant memory for me. A detox of sorts from these were necessary for last year, and now it's time to come back.
At one time I prayed constantly that I lose my dependence on friends, family, and anything that wasn't me or God. My prayer was answered, but when it was time to turn to God I relied on myself, which is insanity. I don't feel close to anyone right now because I've been doing everything by myself for so long, but I need God. I always have. To those people who say they don't need God or who don't believe in Him, I have to honestly admit that I don't have enough faith to be an athiest or to believe only in myself.
My limited faith will answer another prayer though, I just have to believe. Being an 'A' student, losing the rest of this weight, and coming back to God are all possible and very much within my reach. I'm coming home.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Alterior motives
Okay, so here's a recap. I'm wanting to change my perception to something decidedly less negative, I want to change my weight to match that of a human beings and not of a manitee, and I want to change the way I dress just because it's about time I put SOME thought into it. And I'm doing it all totally for myself!
Sorta...
You see, there's a problem with the word "sorta". You can't just throw it out there and not explain yourself. I hate it when my friends do that (or something similar) and I'm not going to be a hypocrite...
So what's the big deal? It's not just because I want to make these changes for myself. There's one other reason that's pretty big. Not just to improve myself, but to make a new me and kiss the old me goodbye. When I move away from Texas (which I totally will) thing are going to be different. People won't know me as the guy who got his act together Junior year of college. I'll be the guy who's always had his act together, as far as they know. 5 years down the road I want to be in Chicago and look back on everything and find comfort in knowing that I'm not who I was. I guess it's just another thing that drives me forward.
Oh, and I've been putting Weight loss in my labels as one word. I've just now remembered that it's two words. Oops.
Sorta...
You see, there's a problem with the word "sorta". You can't just throw it out there and not explain yourself. I hate it when my friends do that (or something similar) and I'm not going to be a hypocrite...
So what's the big deal? It's not just because I want to make these changes for myself. There's one other reason that's pretty big. Not just to improve myself, but to make a new me and kiss the old me goodbye. When I move away from Texas (which I totally will) thing are going to be different. People won't know me as the guy who got his act together Junior year of college. I'll be the guy who's always had his act together, as far as they know. 5 years down the road I want to be in Chicago and look back on everything and find comfort in knowing that I'm not who I was. I guess it's just another thing that drives me forward.
Oh, and I've been putting Weight loss in my labels as one word. I've just now remembered that it's two words. Oops.
Friday, July 1, 2011
New shoes.
I got new shoes today. Running shoes. The Nike's with the running chip. and I. Am. Loving it! I actually found a pair that fit my massive feet, too! This happens once every four pairs of shoes or so, and hardly ever happens with Nike shoes.
Today is a big day.
One thing I would like to address is how I had no idea that when I went shopping for shoes with my mother, that she would offer to purchase a lot more then just shoes. Pants, shirts, glasses, Ipod armbands, etc. I just wanted to buy shoes and leave, but she actuall encouraged me to walk around the shopping center and look for more things to buy ON HER CARD! It was unexpected and I had no idea what I wanted. So I bought sunglasses and called it a day. I'm lame, I know.
That's all I have to say. Peace!
Today is a big day.
One thing I would like to address is how I had no idea that when I went shopping for shoes with my mother, that she would offer to purchase a lot more then just shoes. Pants, shirts, glasses, Ipod armbands, etc. I just wanted to buy shoes and leave, but she actuall encouraged me to walk around the shopping center and look for more things to buy ON HER CARD! It was unexpected and I had no idea what I wanted. So I bought sunglasses and called it a day. I'm lame, I know.
That's all I have to say. Peace!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
This world is full of hypocrites.
I've kind of never been one to really do much journaling, but I realize that this past week my blog has been almost exactly that. A journal where I just write random stuff about my day. And there's never anything interesting like,
"I met the girl of my dreams, today. She weighed at least 300 lbs but she smelled like bacon. I'm in love."
Whatever.
But it's kinda cool to actually spend some time to chill and recall what you've done any given day. It lets you sloOOooOOooOOooOW dOoOOooOOooOOwn and not be so stressed. I really hope I have time to keep this up during the school year, even.
Okay, so today I set my alarm for 9:30, and the jerk of an internal clock I have decided that I would much rather get up at 6:00 am. And then 6:45. And 7:00. 8:30. and then it let me sleep through my actual alarm to get up at exactly 11:43. I took a hammer to my last phone out of frustration, and I'm not scared to do it again. I wish I had a video of it. It was very Office Space.
I got out of bed and surprisingly had no problem getting right to my work out. My body was like
No sleep? No problem! I'm going to make these sit-ups wish they were never born!
The irony in that statement is that sit-ups aren't born. They get reincarnated in a blaze of fire like a phoenix! I guess that makes me freaking Harry Potter. Wanna see my ride? It's a Nimbus 2000. Cause I'm feeling so fly like a broom stick!
Ahem...
So I bought a wii controller because I really wanted to have for of them and I came home and played Gamecube, because that's how I mother ducking roll. And then I went for my walk/run/random dancing in the park. Honestly, my day could easily have been summed up as this: I did nothing, then I went for a walk.
Tomorrow's forecast: I'm getting new running shoes tomorrow! The kind with the Nike Chip in them!
That's all...BYE!
"I met the girl of my dreams, today. She weighed at least 300 lbs but she smelled like bacon. I'm in love."
Whatever.
But it's kinda cool to actually spend some time to chill and recall what you've done any given day. It lets you sloOOooOOooOOooOW dOoOOooOOooOOwn and not be so stressed. I really hope I have time to keep this up during the school year, even.
Okay, so today I set my alarm for 9:30, and the jerk of an internal clock I have decided that I would much rather get up at 6:00 am. And then 6:45. And 7:00. 8:30. and then it let me sleep through my actual alarm to get up at exactly 11:43. I took a hammer to my last phone out of frustration, and I'm not scared to do it again. I wish I had a video of it. It was very Office Space.
I got out of bed and surprisingly had no problem getting right to my work out. My body was like
No sleep? No problem! I'm going to make these sit-ups wish they were never born!
The irony in that statement is that sit-ups aren't born. They get reincarnated in a blaze of fire like a phoenix! I guess that makes me freaking Harry Potter. Wanna see my ride? It's a Nimbus 2000. Cause I'm feeling so fly like a broom stick!
Ahem...
So I bought a wii controller because I really wanted to have for of them and I came home and played Gamecube, because that's how I mother ducking roll. And then I went for my walk/run/random dancing in the park. Honestly, my day could easily have been summed up as this: I did nothing, then I went for a walk.
Tomorrow's forecast: I'm getting new running shoes tomorrow! The kind with the Nike Chip in them!
That's all...BYE!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Greatest freaking day, ever!
...and if not ever, then it's definitely the greatest freaking day I've had in a long time. I can definitely rate this as the best of the summer, it all started the moment I got up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was, "Crap...it's weigh-in day". So I crossed my fingers, tried to come up with a reason why I shouldn't have to put up with this sort of torture every week (I couldn't think of one) and stepped on the scale. And...I LOST ANOTHER TWO POUNDS! After not losing any last week, it feels good to have lost some more. That brings my total weight loss to 10 lbs this summer, and I happen to know for a fact that I'm down a pants size from when I started, so I can't wait until the day I have to hold my pants up even with a belt! Unfortunately, that might be sooner then I would like, if I keep this up. I really don't have money for new clothes and I'm trying to lose weight meaning I'm going to end up as Jerrod from Subway who holds on to his fat clothes forever. Mine isn't exactly out of choice, however.
Another good tidbit of news is that my eye is no longer swollen shut! I can blink like a normal person and can even wink (ladies). I took some antihistemine yesterday to bring down the swelling so nobody would notice today and it would have worked, but my mom had to go and tell everyone about it anyways. I have no choice but to forgive her, though. She never once embarrassed me in high school so she gets some freedom to do so for the rest of my life. There are boundaries, though. I'm not saying she gets a free reign on my life, but I can afford to cut her some slack now and then. Because I'm such a good son. Or at least that's what I tell myself at night to sleep.
WHIIIIIIIIIIIIICH bring me to my next point. I actually haven't been sleeping at night. Weird that even on meds my body doesn't know what to do when I'm laying in bed with the lights off and I close my eyes. My body goes all stupid and is like, "hey, where'd the party go" and stays up all night while I wish I could get even an hour's sleep.
In other news, I dropped my socks in the toilet today on accident because they somehow got tangled up in my towel when I went to shower. I threw them in the dryer and put them in my little brothers sock drawer and I like to think of myself as a better person for it.
Oh, and I went to the coin store today. I picked up a bunch of coins I didn't have for my collection. WAR TIME NICKELS! These things are hard to find because they are made without any actual Nickel. During the war it was a precious resource so they suplemented Silver, thus the price of these Nickels is reflected in how well Silver is doing in the market. And I got a few more United States Quarters. I'm a super nerd about coin collecting for only a couple months out of the year so please forgive me when I say "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ALL FIFTY STATE QUARTERS IN THE PHILLY MINT!"
In other news, I think I may have traded my cool card for my nerd card today. Man card still intact. More word on this to follow.
Oh, and I played Zelda today...
This post brought to you by the number purple. OKAY, THANKS FOR READING! BYE!
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was, "Crap...it's weigh-in day". So I crossed my fingers, tried to come up with a reason why I shouldn't have to put up with this sort of torture every week (I couldn't think of one) and stepped on the scale. And...I LOST ANOTHER TWO POUNDS! After not losing any last week, it feels good to have lost some more. That brings my total weight loss to 10 lbs this summer, and I happen to know for a fact that I'm down a pants size from when I started, so I can't wait until the day I have to hold my pants up even with a belt! Unfortunately, that might be sooner then I would like, if I keep this up. I really don't have money for new clothes and I'm trying to lose weight meaning I'm going to end up as Jerrod from Subway who holds on to his fat clothes forever. Mine isn't exactly out of choice, however.
Another good tidbit of news is that my eye is no longer swollen shut! I can blink like a normal person and can even wink (ladies). I took some antihistemine yesterday to bring down the swelling so nobody would notice today and it would have worked, but my mom had to go and tell everyone about it anyways. I have no choice but to forgive her, though. She never once embarrassed me in high school so she gets some freedom to do so for the rest of my life. There are boundaries, though. I'm not saying she gets a free reign on my life, but I can afford to cut her some slack now and then. Because I'm such a good son. Or at least that's what I tell myself at night to sleep.
WHIIIIIIIIIIIIICH bring me to my next point. I actually haven't been sleeping at night. Weird that even on meds my body doesn't know what to do when I'm laying in bed with the lights off and I close my eyes. My body goes all stupid and is like, "hey, where'd the party go" and stays up all night while I wish I could get even an hour's sleep.
In other news, I dropped my socks in the toilet today on accident because they somehow got tangled up in my towel when I went to shower. I threw them in the dryer and put them in my little brothers sock drawer and I like to think of myself as a better person for it.
Oh, and I went to the coin store today. I picked up a bunch of coins I didn't have for my collection. WAR TIME NICKELS! These things are hard to find because they are made without any actual Nickel. During the war it was a precious resource so they suplemented Silver, thus the price of these Nickels is reflected in how well Silver is doing in the market. And I got a few more United States Quarters. I'm a super nerd about coin collecting for only a couple months out of the year so please forgive me when I say "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ALL FIFTY STATE QUARTERS IN THE PHILLY MINT!"
In other news, I think I may have traded my cool card for my nerd card today. Man card still intact. More word on this to follow.
Oh, and I played Zelda today...
This post brought to you by the number purple. OKAY, THANKS FOR READING! BYE!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Yet ANOTHER post. Wow, I'm annoying.
Okay, so today has had some annoyances, but I've honestly had a great day. Very chill, very laid back, and nothing that exerted too much energy. Considering nothing went as I planned, today has not been that bad at all.
I woke up today and found that my eye was swollen shut. Clearly, I was not going to work out like this, nor did I really want to leave the house and drive with only one eye, so I did what any reasonable person would do and I played Zelda (I beasted it, too), played piano, and watched TV. I kinda wish I could have worked out today because my weigh-in is tomorrow, but I'm not gonna dwell on it too much. It is what it is.
Not gonna try and milk a boring day into anything it's not (like, say an interesting day, for example). Just keeping myself posting frequently otherwise I never will.
Oh, and I'm just gonna say that I found a new face wash recently, and DANG my skin looks good. Smoother then a baby's butt. Not that I've ever touched a baby's butt. Don't plan on changing any diapers until I have a kid of my own (well into my fifties).
Imma peace before this post gets any more uncomfortable for you or for me, and fingers crossed that tomorrow's weigh-in is good!
I woke up today and found that my eye was swollen shut. Clearly, I was not going to work out like this, nor did I really want to leave the house and drive with only one eye, so I did what any reasonable person would do and I played Zelda (I beasted it, too), played piano, and watched TV. I kinda wish I could have worked out today because my weigh-in is tomorrow, but I'm not gonna dwell on it too much. It is what it is.
Not gonna try and milk a boring day into anything it's not (like, say an interesting day, for example). Just keeping myself posting frequently otherwise I never will.
Oh, and I'm just gonna say that I found a new face wash recently, and DANG my skin looks good. Smoother then a baby's butt. Not that I've ever touched a baby's butt. Don't plan on changing any diapers until I have a kid of my own (well into my fifties).
Imma peace before this post gets any more uncomfortable for you or for me, and fingers crossed that tomorrow's weigh-in is good!
Monday, June 27, 2011
This world is full of strangers...
Before I really get started, I want to say a huge thanks to Ghost. I see you've been reading my posts and commenting and I really appreciate you're support. I've been trying to respond to you but for some reason my responses never go through, so I'm gonna say it here. Thanks a billion!
And my topic today is about identity. I'm slowly starting to figure out that these goals I have aren't necessarily about having others see me accurately, as I had originally thought. As I go through these changes in diet, attitude, and maturity I see that I'm actually starting to change. I'm seeing new sides of me I haven't seen before that I don't really know what to do with because they're so different from who I usually am! I don't know if I've stuck to trying to lose weight for this long. I can't say I've ever been so motivated to do something in my life. And those previously mentioned demons have me pushing even harder then ever. I see all of this new me when I go for my walks and I have time to just think.
When I went on my walk today (almost a freaking jog with my pace these days) I kept looking for new motivation to go just a little bit faster, and a little bit harder (walk hard?), and I found myself looking to necessity and my heritege. Necessity wise is simple eough; I saw it was time for me to be strong for my friends and return the favors that they've done for me. That was reason enough to push through these changes I'm making. But my family's history is perhaps the strongest driving force I have in the designing process for the new me. My family has done everything, and I force myself to be strong to honor their successes. My great uncle, Corporal Harlond Block, was one of the fighters at Iwo Jima that was a part of the famous flag raising after days of brutal fighting. My aunt was among the first women to graduate from Texas State with a degree in Technical Science (I think that's what her major is called). These are two examples of people perservering. My family was German royalty in the 1800's! My family is a part of the Cherokee Nation. My family, on my dad's mother's side (another iffy statement) can trace her roots back to the Mayflower and her family's name can even be found on the Mayflower compact. Or, so rumor has it. It wouldn't be that hard to imagine that my family could easily have been involved in every major war our nation has been a part of. I know I have several family members fighting for their country right now, and that drives me even more. The point I'm trying to get across, is that I'm trying to find a new future for me to grab hold of, but I find myself being motivated by those people in my family who were motivated to do that very same thing.
To know where you're going, you have to know where you've been. I don't even know what I'm capable of yet once I get myself truly motivated. I've seen myself to some pretty cool things. I'm not being arrogant or prideful. I'm being honest. I've done awesome things, but I also know I've not met my standards plenty of times before now. I know I'll figure out more of my identity through the accomplishments of these goals. But until I learn to put in a 110% effort in everything I do, I'll just be another stranger to even myself.
And my topic today is about identity. I'm slowly starting to figure out that these goals I have aren't necessarily about having others see me accurately, as I had originally thought. As I go through these changes in diet, attitude, and maturity I see that I'm actually starting to change. I'm seeing new sides of me I haven't seen before that I don't really know what to do with because they're so different from who I usually am! I don't know if I've stuck to trying to lose weight for this long. I can't say I've ever been so motivated to do something in my life. And those previously mentioned demons have me pushing even harder then ever. I see all of this new me when I go for my walks and I have time to just think.
When I went on my walk today (almost a freaking jog with my pace these days) I kept looking for new motivation to go just a little bit faster, and a little bit harder (walk hard?), and I found myself looking to necessity and my heritege. Necessity wise is simple eough; I saw it was time for me to be strong for my friends and return the favors that they've done for me. That was reason enough to push through these changes I'm making. But my family's history is perhaps the strongest driving force I have in the designing process for the new me. My family has done everything, and I force myself to be strong to honor their successes. My great uncle, Corporal Harlond Block, was one of the fighters at Iwo Jima that was a part of the famous flag raising after days of brutal fighting. My aunt was among the first women to graduate from Texas State with a degree in Technical Science (I think that's what her major is called). These are two examples of people perservering. My family was German royalty in the 1800's! My family is a part of the Cherokee Nation. My family, on my dad's mother's side (another iffy statement) can trace her roots back to the Mayflower and her family's name can even be found on the Mayflower compact. Or, so rumor has it. It wouldn't be that hard to imagine that my family could easily have been involved in every major war our nation has been a part of. I know I have several family members fighting for their country right now, and that drives me even more. The point I'm trying to get across, is that I'm trying to find a new future for me to grab hold of, but I find myself being motivated by those people in my family who were motivated to do that very same thing.
To know where you're going, you have to know where you've been. I don't even know what I'm capable of yet once I get myself truly motivated. I've seen myself to some pretty cool things. I'm not being arrogant or prideful. I'm being honest. I've done awesome things, but I also know I've not met my standards plenty of times before now. I know I'll figure out more of my identity through the accomplishments of these goals. But until I learn to put in a 110% effort in everything I do, I'll just be another stranger to even myself.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Bad day, then a better day
Okay, so it's been a day or two since I've posted, and these past two days have been eventful. I've worked a garage sale, busted out my coin collection, gained and lost weight, and had a great time hanging out with some amazing friends.
Yesterday morning, I was in the collegeville and woke up late for the garage sale we were hosting to raise money for SNE (womp womp). I showered, brushed my teeth, ran out the door without breakfast and arrived just in time to see that everything was already set up and they were fine without me. I stayed anyways.
We raised a sweet amount of money to get us to the other side of the country (towards the Canada side) but we had quite a bit of stuff left over. It was a bit of a chore to get everything loaded up, but by the time we started packing up the stuff a random surge of energy hit me. This is never a good sign.
This sudden surge of energy lasted all day, and well into the morning. I let out my energy the way I usually do when I'm around my friends; I see how much I can creep out my friend, let's call her Betty, I jump up and down, I make random comments about anything and everythiing, I eat food, I get too productive, and there was this one time when I tap danced (lost a bet). The list of things I've done while on this energy high is ever expanding, and yesterday was no exception. It's like a constant slurpee day in my mind! You really can't beat that, can you? Of course not!
Now to the point of this whole blog post. What I did that night. It's no coincidence that the best days of my summer have been spent actually out of my house doing things with people. Last night was no exception, but it was different. I've spent too much time this past semester and this summer to myself, and I've finally had time to just hang out with a couple of guys. Zane and Marcos, two aweseome friends, have always just turned up when I needed to hang out and forget things for a while. Hanging out with these guys is different then hanging out with other guys, for sure. We can actually talk about real things that matter, pray together, joke about almost anything, and unlike hanging out with other guys we aren't just roaming around a looking for a good time. We are growing together and building a brotherhood.
But then the day had to end and things took an interesting turn. I hate to be mysterious about this, but I just can't say exactly what happened. At least not on a blog post. I had hit a new wall, metaphorically (definitely not literally). I had to face an old demon that I thought had long since gone away. I'm a different person then I was back when I first faced this challlenge, and things seem harder this time. I won't keep talking about it all mysterious-like if I'm not going to say what it is, but I can definitely say that this summer definitely just got interesting.
I won't talk about what happened today. It's not very interesting. I cleaned, organized the medicine cabinet, and I worked on my coin collection some. Nothing majorly interesting.
Yesterday morning, I was in the collegeville and woke up late for the garage sale we were hosting to raise money for SNE (womp womp). I showered, brushed my teeth, ran out the door without breakfast and arrived just in time to see that everything was already set up and they were fine without me. I stayed anyways.
We raised a sweet amount of money to get us to the other side of the country (towards the Canada side) but we had quite a bit of stuff left over. It was a bit of a chore to get everything loaded up, but by the time we started packing up the stuff a random surge of energy hit me. This is never a good sign.
This sudden surge of energy lasted all day, and well into the morning. I let out my energy the way I usually do when I'm around my friends; I see how much I can creep out my friend, let's call her Betty, I jump up and down, I make random comments about anything and everythiing, I eat food, I get too productive, and there was this one time when I tap danced (lost a bet). The list of things I've done while on this energy high is ever expanding, and yesterday was no exception. It's like a constant slurpee day in my mind! You really can't beat that, can you? Of course not!
Now to the point of this whole blog post. What I did that night. It's no coincidence that the best days of my summer have been spent actually out of my house doing things with people. Last night was no exception, but it was different. I've spent too much time this past semester and this summer to myself, and I've finally had time to just hang out with a couple of guys. Zane and Marcos, two aweseome friends, have always just turned up when I needed to hang out and forget things for a while. Hanging out with these guys is different then hanging out with other guys, for sure. We can actually talk about real things that matter, pray together, joke about almost anything, and unlike hanging out with other guys we aren't just roaming around a looking for a good time. We are growing together and building a brotherhood.
But then the day had to end and things took an interesting turn. I hate to be mysterious about this, but I just can't say exactly what happened. At least not on a blog post. I had hit a new wall, metaphorically (definitely not literally). I had to face an old demon that I thought had long since gone away. I'm a different person then I was back when I first faced this challlenge, and things seem harder this time. I won't keep talking about it all mysterious-like if I'm not going to say what it is, but I can definitely say that this summer definitely just got interesting.
I won't talk about what happened today. It's not very interesting. I cleaned, organized the medicine cabinet, and I worked on my coin collection some. Nothing majorly interesting.
Friday, June 24, 2011
"Streamlining my appearance"...slang for growing up
I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night, and it was annoying. I read a textbook to try and bore me to sleep, but that didn't even work. I found the freaking book INTERESTING! Kinda wish I read the textbook when I took the class, now. But I only read for about an hour before I was fed up with myself and got out of bed. They say that the worst thing you can do when you can't sleep is just stay in bed, so I decided to do something productive until I was ready to sleep, so I started organizing my room.
Considering it was about 1:30 in the morning I'm sure my family heard me and thought I was crazy. I started cleaning out drawers in my nightstand, then my dresser, then I cleaned out my closet, and then threw out some more clothes I hadn't worn in forever, and actually started to make the place livable again. I wasn't annoyed that I was awake still, either. They say your room's cleanliness affects your mood, and I've found it to be true. If my room's a mess, my life's a mess. Lesson relearned.
One thing I have been wanting to do is do a complete wardrobe change. I got rid of all the old T-Shirts with print on them and kept all my shirts that were just nice, plain T-shirts. I'm not saying my closet is the equivelent of a male fashion guru, but it's definitely closer to what I would want to wear on a regular basis. Decent clothes to go out in public with decent people and look...decent. What else could you ask for?
I feel like I should clarify something before I sign off. I'm not trying to change me. I like me. I think I'm pretty cool. My problem is that I have a hard time communicating who I am to other people. That's what this is about. Making real connections with people, and that only comes from helping others see me as I see me. Hence, the weight, wardrobe, and attitude change. This may sound shallow, but I just want others to love me as much as I love me. Thank God for my friends that already do, too. :)
Considering it was about 1:30 in the morning I'm sure my family heard me and thought I was crazy. I started cleaning out drawers in my nightstand, then my dresser, then I cleaned out my closet, and then threw out some more clothes I hadn't worn in forever, and actually started to make the place livable again. I wasn't annoyed that I was awake still, either. They say your room's cleanliness affects your mood, and I've found it to be true. If my room's a mess, my life's a mess. Lesson relearned.
One thing I have been wanting to do is do a complete wardrobe change. I got rid of all the old T-Shirts with print on them and kept all my shirts that were just nice, plain T-shirts. I'm not saying my closet is the equivelent of a male fashion guru, but it's definitely closer to what I would want to wear on a regular basis. Decent clothes to go out in public with decent people and look...decent. What else could you ask for?
I feel like I should clarify something before I sign off. I'm not trying to change me. I like me. I think I'm pretty cool. My problem is that I have a hard time communicating who I am to other people. That's what this is about. Making real connections with people, and that only comes from helping others see me as I see me. Hence, the weight, wardrobe, and attitude change. This may sound shallow, but I just want others to love me as much as I love me. Thank God for my friends that already do, too. :)
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Running forward
I'm really not doing that bad on my summer goals. I actually can't believe I'm saying it, but I may actually accomplish them. I've never completed everything on my summer to-do list before, so I'm mega pumped. It's not just finishing my to-do list, it's what happens after that I'm excited about.
I'll get to bust out my guitar and jam with my friends, instead of just watching in amazement, wear clothes that aren't large enough to fit a manitee, and I'll actually have more energy. I'm alrady kinda sorta feeling that last one, but it will be significantly better once I've lost more weight.
I want to approach everything differently next year, and that's why I'm starting now. My music, clothing, personality, body, mood, grades, prayer life, etc. all kinda ride on my motivation to get my summer goals achieved, and it's actually happening. As I'm chugging along through my first couple of goals, I'm researching and getting ready for the next few things I want to make happen and it's also looking pretty do-able. I'm not looking for a complete 180 of my life because there are a lot of parts of myself I like. I'm just focusing on fixing those few minor details I've always wanted to get around too.
Tomorrow is particularly a big day because I have lost enough weight to warrent new pants. Yay. Getting something else to workout in would be nice, too, because my walking pace is starting to pick up quite a bit, and week after next my schedule has me starting my running. Can't believe that time is so close, either! Most people would think I'm crazy for putting off running for this long and just going with walking, but I have a schedule and pace I like to follow, and it's worked out so far. May need to invest in running shoes, too. My shoes are not very good for running, so losing weight has just started to get expensive...
I'll get to bust out my guitar and jam with my friends, instead of just watching in amazement, wear clothes that aren't large enough to fit a manitee, and I'll actually have more energy. I'm alrady kinda sorta feeling that last one, but it will be significantly better once I've lost more weight.
I want to approach everything differently next year, and that's why I'm starting now. My music, clothing, personality, body, mood, grades, prayer life, etc. all kinda ride on my motivation to get my summer goals achieved, and it's actually happening. As I'm chugging along through my first couple of goals, I'm researching and getting ready for the next few things I want to make happen and it's also looking pretty do-able. I'm not looking for a complete 180 of my life because there are a lot of parts of myself I like. I'm just focusing on fixing those few minor details I've always wanted to get around too.
Tomorrow is particularly a big day because I have lost enough weight to warrent new pants. Yay. Getting something else to workout in would be nice, too, because my walking pace is starting to pick up quite a bit, and week after next my schedule has me starting my running. Can't believe that time is so close, either! Most people would think I'm crazy for putting off running for this long and just going with walking, but I have a schedule and pace I like to follow, and it's worked out so far. May need to invest in running shoes, too. My shoes are not very good for running, so losing weight has just started to get expensive...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Just another week
Well, it's another week and I'm still breathing. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Today is two weeks after I started trying to lose weight. I weighed myself this morning and I'm 8 lbs less from two weeks ago. At least something is working out for me.
I've had some stuff on my mind, lately. I'm missing a certain thrill, it's been a while since I've been some place new, met new people, or did new things with old friends, and I'm not doing anything with my time but play Zelda and sleep. I want a bit more adventure then I'm used too. It's like I'm stuck in a rut as long as I'm in Pflugerville. Partially because there's nothing to do here and also because I want nothing to do with the people I once knew here. I'm ready for a new identity and for my old one to just fade away into obscurity, and for that to happen I need to get out of this place. It's becoming more clear to me that if I want to be happy, I might have to seriously start working out my plan to move to Chicago.
There is one person, though, whom I wouldn't mind keeping in contact with while I'm here, but that's not possible. You see my best fried from high school lives a few streets over from me, and I kinda would like to hang out with him again. Problem is, he has a new friend he hangs out with and we cannot stand the sight of each other. He gives me uncomfortable looks when my best friend isn't looking and I return the favor. It's very unfortunate and now that everything is said and done we're left with a bunch of people with nothing to do.
So I'll just continue playing my guitar, watching Youtube, playing Zelda, and losing weight. I may not have that much contact with people this summer, but at least I'll be productive...I guess.
I've had some stuff on my mind, lately. I'm missing a certain thrill, it's been a while since I've been some place new, met new people, or did new things with old friends, and I'm not doing anything with my time but play Zelda and sleep. I want a bit more adventure then I'm used too. It's like I'm stuck in a rut as long as I'm in Pflugerville. Partially because there's nothing to do here and also because I want nothing to do with the people I once knew here. I'm ready for a new identity and for my old one to just fade away into obscurity, and for that to happen I need to get out of this place. It's becoming more clear to me that if I want to be happy, I might have to seriously start working out my plan to move to Chicago.
There is one person, though, whom I wouldn't mind keeping in contact with while I'm here, but that's not possible. You see my best fried from high school lives a few streets over from me, and I kinda would like to hang out with him again. Problem is, he has a new friend he hangs out with and we cannot stand the sight of each other. He gives me uncomfortable looks when my best friend isn't looking and I return the favor. It's very unfortunate and now that everything is said and done we're left with a bunch of people with nothing to do.
So I'll just continue playing my guitar, watching Youtube, playing Zelda, and losing weight. I may not have that much contact with people this summer, but at least I'll be productive...I guess.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Week 1
Today was day one of something I pray I actually stick with this time. Weightloss. A not-so-fun, always American topic, and I feel a little bit like a walking cliche' by even talking about it but I have too. It's time to start thinking about it. It was time to start thinking about this a long time ago but then I broke my foot and had to stay off it so working out wasn't really an option. It seems like there's always an excuse, but this time will be different. It already is.
I have some huge goals I want to accomplish in this area and it's going to take me the better part of a year to get there, but this has been on my to-do list for a while. This is different then any of my previous attempts at losing weight in that I actually have set goals this time. General goals such as; I want to feel good about myself, I want to be more active, I want to not feel so freaking self-conscious about my my weight, etc. And I also have set up some more specific goals, such as; weekly weight-loss goals, weekly BMI goals, and overall goals in each area I'm striving to get too. I've never set up smaller goals before. I usually just go for the big goal and try to push through. Here, though, I have a system set up where I get quite a few victories rather then just one.
Here's an example of one of my big goals. I want to have lost 49 lbs. by the end of the year. That's a lot of weight to lose, and it's probably not gonna happen on my timeline, but it will happen eventually. Here's an example of one of my smaller goals. I want to lose 2 lbs by next Wednesday. Not quite so scary. :)D
I put that "D" underneath that smiley face on purpose. It represents his happy, second chin!
Typically, people lose more weight in the beginning and it gets harder to lose as time goes on. In the beginning, I'll probably end up losing more then 2 lbs a week for a couple of weeks, at least. But eventually I'll end only losing about a single pound a week, which occurs at my plateau weight. My plateau is at 220 lbs, so that's the only obstacle that I see right now. Getting down to 220 lbs is actually not gonna be that hard. All I need to do is SOME sort of activity, which is more then what I can say of myself lately.
Another thing I'm gonna say is that I really don't want to go to the gym until I get down to a certain weight. Basically, I'll be doing a whole bunch of cardiovascular stuff like walking, running, riding my bike, etc. and also learning how to treat my body better with what sort of foods I'm eating. Once I can prove to myself I can eat right and keep up the basic healthy activities I'll feel better about doing more intense stuff. Probably at about that time I'll ask one of the guys at school to help me out and hold me accountable as well. But, I've always been better at planning these things then actually doing them so it's anyone's guess how this will turn out.
I have some huge goals I want to accomplish in this area and it's going to take me the better part of a year to get there, but this has been on my to-do list for a while. This is different then any of my previous attempts at losing weight in that I actually have set goals this time. General goals such as; I want to feel good about myself, I want to be more active, I want to not feel so freaking self-conscious about my my weight, etc. And I also have set up some more specific goals, such as; weekly weight-loss goals, weekly BMI goals, and overall goals in each area I'm striving to get too. I've never set up smaller goals before. I usually just go for the big goal and try to push through. Here, though, I have a system set up where I get quite a few victories rather then just one.
Here's an example of one of my big goals. I want to have lost 49 lbs. by the end of the year. That's a lot of weight to lose, and it's probably not gonna happen on my timeline, but it will happen eventually. Here's an example of one of my smaller goals. I want to lose 2 lbs by next Wednesday. Not quite so scary. :)D
I put that "D" underneath that smiley face on purpose. It represents his happy, second chin!
Typically, people lose more weight in the beginning and it gets harder to lose as time goes on. In the beginning, I'll probably end up losing more then 2 lbs a week for a couple of weeks, at least. But eventually I'll end only losing about a single pound a week, which occurs at my plateau weight. My plateau is at 220 lbs, so that's the only obstacle that I see right now. Getting down to 220 lbs is actually not gonna be that hard. All I need to do is SOME sort of activity, which is more then what I can say of myself lately.
Another thing I'm gonna say is that I really don't want to go to the gym until I get down to a certain weight. Basically, I'll be doing a whole bunch of cardiovascular stuff like walking, running, riding my bike, etc. and also learning how to treat my body better with what sort of foods I'm eating. Once I can prove to myself I can eat right and keep up the basic healthy activities I'll feel better about doing more intense stuff. Probably at about that time I'll ask one of the guys at school to help me out and hold me accountable as well. But, I've always been better at planning these things then actually doing them so it's anyone's guess how this will turn out.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Slurpee day
What is slurpee day, you ask? It is as cool as Chuck Norris' beard, as cool as the Joker as played by Heath Ledger, and sugary as Buddy the Elf's typical breakfast. There's so much to discuss, so little attention span to spend on it. Let's start with first explaining, what is slurpee day?
Slurpee day is when a group of individuals come together at a specific time (say, 3:30) and traverse together to the nearest 7-eleven, and preferably you will walk but if there's not enough time or if the road is long and winding (Beatles reference) you can, of course, take a vehicular mode of transportation.
The most important part of the whole thing is the purchase and consumption of a slurpee drink, but then you can totally get snackage, or snackems, as they say in the part of the south where it's socially acceptable to drop your kid on his/her head. So what's next?
You come back to your home base (church, library, brothel, home, apartment, sketch back ally, or military barracks, etc.), and you chill and eat up. Music is typically a part of the mix as well.
Rules:
#1 First rule of slurpee day, don't talk about slurpee day.
#2 Muffin tops take the cake
#3 Slurpee day waits for no man...or squirrel...except it's founders.
#4 Don't wear a ski mask into the 7-eleven. This is more like legal advice then anything else.
#5 bobcat is king.
#6 Every pyro for himself.
#7 Good life by OneRepublic (Album: Waking Up) is our theme song.
#8 You must work up to the big slurpee.
#9 Slurpee day is run on a hierarchical system. Deal with it.
#10 The Banana Slurpee does not taste like banana...
Slurpee day is when a group of individuals come together at a specific time (say, 3:30) and traverse together to the nearest 7-eleven, and preferably you will walk but if there's not enough time or if the road is long and winding (Beatles reference) you can, of course, take a vehicular mode of transportation.
The most important part of the whole thing is the purchase and consumption of a slurpee drink, but then you can totally get snackage, or snackems, as they say in the part of the south where it's socially acceptable to drop your kid on his/her head. So what's next?
You come back to your home base (church, library, brothel, home, apartment, sketch back ally, or military barracks, etc.), and you chill and eat up. Music is typically a part of the mix as well.
Rules:
#1 First rule of slurpee day, don't talk about slurpee day.
#2 Muffin tops take the cake
#3 Slurpee day waits for no man...or squirrel...except it's founders.
#4 Don't wear a ski mask into the 7-eleven. This is more like legal advice then anything else.
#5 bobcat is king.
#6 Every pyro for himself.
#7 Good life by OneRepublic (Album: Waking Up) is our theme song.
#8 You must work up to the big slurpee.
#9 Slurpee day is run on a hierarchical system. Deal with it.
#10 The Banana Slurpee does not taste like banana...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Bittersweet
Heard a friend discuss this the other day and it cracked me up, so now I'm reposting. It's a discussion about what constitutes being bittersweet.
"You know what I think bittersweet is? Going to the bathroom in the middle of the winter. Because think about it! It's really cold and you sit on the toilet expecting the seat to be freezing. But then, as you sit you realize...WARMTH!!! Yes! Wait a second...I'm benefiting from somebody's rear-end warmth. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
That's really all there is to it. I don't know if it's actually that funny, but I thought it was a unique definition. Definitely internet worthy, but that's not worth much, is it?
"You know what I think bittersweet is? Going to the bathroom in the middle of the winter. Because think about it! It's really cold and you sit on the toilet expecting the seat to be freezing. But then, as you sit you realize...WARMTH!!! Yes! Wait a second...I'm benefiting from somebody's rear-end warmth. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
That's really all there is to it. I don't know if it's actually that funny, but I thought it was a unique definition. Definitely internet worthy, but that's not worth much, is it?
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